Ten Things We Learned from Planning the Wedding

Getting married in the Philippines (or is it just in Manila?) is a real extravaganza. It's so easy to get caught up, go balls to the wall, for that once in a lifetime event. Kevin and I wanted to have a small celebration with our families and closest friends I wanted a low-key wedding in Baguio where we met with just our immediate families so we had a plan of having a hundred in our guest list (A HUNDRED IS INTIMATE IN THE PHILIPPINES/MANILA), but that swelled up to 120 (BUT ONLY 102 CAME. RSVP IS A BITCH IN THIS COUNTRY). Even with a small wedding, we were surprised at how much preparation had to go into it. Allow us to step back and recount some of the things we learned from planning our wedding, and hopefully these could be helpful to those who are planning their wedding:

1. The Coordinators are Worth It. 

In the early stages of our wedding planning, Fran insisted on having a specific wedding coordinator, which she says would be instrumental in the success of our wedding. Not knowing anything about what wedding coordinators do, I initially pushed back, but decided that it would be best to defer to her on this decision as she probably had a lot of research done anyway. 

Fast forward to our wedding day, and I cannot overstate how instrumental they were in keeping the ‘machine’ going. They had the process down to a T, and gave us the peace of mind to not worry about anything in terms of the arrangements (shoutout to Imbitado Events). They were like the little elves in Santa’s shop. They work behind the scenes, and made sure that everything went smoothly, from the payments, to the logistics, to the timing of the event. This was probably one of our (or Fran’s) best decisions with the wedding.

2. Choose a Photographer and Videographer you have chemistry with.

This makes a lot of sense as the photos and videos will be something that you and your family will look back on, so you’d like for it to capture the moment as you envisioned it. We first filtered out options on our photographer and videographer based on their aesthetic, and price, but meeting with them was equally crucial to see if the vibe was right. True enough, we selected very friendly, patient, and talented people who made us comfortable and gave us great direction. We are really happy with our choices, and this was reflected in their final product. 

3. Don't be afraid to be assertive on what you want.

Remember, that this is your wedding day, and it has to make you and your spouse happy, and not anyone else. Be sure to be clear with what you want, and not get pressured by what others want or expect. You’ll feel much more comfortable on the day, and the process will be much more enjoyable. Plus, your suppliers are complete pros, and they know that they are there to help you. Engage them, and get their opinions, but make sure that your needs are met should be priority number one.

4. Set up an excel sheet to monitor your budget (See Fran's No. 1)

This is just me being extremely careful about the budget, setting up an excel file which tracks details on payment, contracts, and your budget will help guide you along the way. With large expenses, and multiple vendors, you’d want to keep track of everything just to ensure that you are organized. This goes a long way in helping with your sanity too! (FRAN: THAT SANITY BIT IS MORE FOR KEVIN)

5. Don't get pressured into inviting guests you don't want at your wedding.

This was something I was extremely adamant about. I didn’t want people in my wedding who I didn’t know, as I felt that this was a moment I wanted to share with only my close circle of family and friends. Sure, concessions had to be made (I didn’t know so many people cared about me, *rolls eyes*), but overall, the wedding was a fun experience because we were in the presence of people who truly knew our story and who genuinely wanted to be there. There was also a fair bit of self-selection going on as we had a destination wedding, and we knew by making everyone travel, that they actually wanted to be there.

1. Budget will balloon.

Prior to our engagement, I had several acquaintances who had gotten married and who had been upfront about their wedding budget. So when Kevin set our initial budget, I scoffed (on the inside). I brought him to a wedding fair so he would have an idea on how much wedding things would cost and he could get a more realistic (hehe) assessment on a wedding budget. 

The pricing schemes of suppliers can be tricky-- we had a pretty long engagement (a year and four months) and the thing with suppliers in the Philippines is they increase their prices every year. So we would find one supplier, not book them yet, and then come New Year they've increased their prices. So you can just imagine the budging in our Excel sheet (and Kevin's mood). 

Also, you will find that towards the end of the wedding planning you'll be adding bits to your wedding that seem small, but will actually have a dent on your budget (See Also My No. 5). Like at the last minute you would want to give your bridesmaids robes, or initially you wanted to go with earrings from your Mom, but then you decide you'll buy a pair instead (GUILTYYYYY).

2. Consider Additional Fees.

We had a destination wedding (not on purpose). We booked our Photo and Video(PV) team and my Hair and Makeup Artist (HMUA) before we found our venue which was in Alfonso, Cavite. Since the PV and HMUA were based in Manila, they required Out of Town Fees (OOTF) and though their respective OOTF  might seem reasonable, they add up and make a sizable dent.

In order to avoid OOTF if you are having a destination wedding, do your research and find suppliers that are based in the area where you will be getting married. Not only will this save you from OOTF or even Accommodation Fees, suppliers from the area will of course be more familiar with the location and could also recommend other suppliers that are from the area. 

3. Go to Wedding Fairs.

These are chaotic. So chaotic in fact that Kevin only went with me twice; my Mom, twice (when I told her I'd go to another one she got upset); and my brother once--when I asked him to go with me to another one he legit whimpered. Then got upset.

People at booths will be ramming your hands with fliers, and even though they've seen you twice already, they don't care, you will get another flier.

Before attending a wedding fair (most are free you just have to register in advance), do your research on suppliers that will be there. OR hound the suppliers you're eyeing and then monitor which fairs they will be joining. The freebies at wedding fairs are pretty good. In our case, the best deal we got was with our Caterer. They waived a bunch of fees and we got A TON OF FREEBIES. 

4. Accept Help.

I wanted to be so hands on with the wedding planning and I did not want to inconvenience my family or friends that I shied away from accepting help. I wanted to do everything and that just made me so stressed. Towards the end of the wedding planning I was so cranky and took out the stress on family and Kevin. Luckily, my parents saw through it and offered to help me out with some things when I was already pressed for time. My brother even became my de facto Maid of Honor. 

Your wedding is a lifetime event and it can get so absorbed into micro-managing everything, but if someone offers help, learn to relax and accept their offer. 

5. Sometimes it's good to step back from Pinterest.

Our wedding did not have a theme, but we knew what we wanted. I wanted just white flowers and lots of greenery--which luckily, Kevin wanted as well. All other elements were muted--we just did not want color and we wanted a lot of trees and white flowers. 

So when I caved and resorted to Pinterest for some design ideas for our florist and reception stylist, I did not go crazy and pinned everything that looks nice. 

Pinterest is a trap that will make you ram everything in to your wedding. It's chock-full of ideas that could easily lead one into adding more and more elements into the wedding, which could eventually lead to your budget growing. 

Zero in on what you want as a couple, keep your budget in mind, and have someone you can bounce ideas off of. I was lucky that Kevin was hands on with the wedding too and when I was piling ideas on, he was quick enough to filter. 

It's nice to have a Pinterest-worthy wedding, but learn to work within your budget. 

One last tip-- enjoy your wedding day because it's going to go by so fast! 

and Kevin!

Wedding Photography by Daniel Talavera Photography